Earlier this week, Amazon launched what a majority of the Internet mistook as an outlandish April Fool’s Day joke – the Amazon Dash button. After all, who would actually create a button that reorders household supplies the day before April first and expect people to take it seriously? Well, Amazon did, so once again the Internet is wrong, for the Dash button is no laughing matter.
Instead, it’s an invite-only product, offering a way for Amazon Prime users to easily replenish the common household items and groceries they order from Amazon at the push of a button. Amazon has enlisted certain brands that distribute products through their website to send Prime users Dash buttons. Customers can stick the buttons around their house and push them when they’re running low on their product of choice.
But how does this magical button of dashing wonder work, you ask?
Say you’re an avid user of Bounty paper towels – it’s the only quicker picker upper in your life, no other brand will ever suffice. But you’re almost out. LE GASP! What a travesty – the world will STOP without your paper towels. You’re simply too busy to a) go to the grocery store, or b) go on Amazon.com and reorder them because that’s something reserved for commoners. Thankfully, you live a life of luxury and convenience with Amazon Prime and requested a Bounty Dash button. Push the battery operated, Wi-Fi enabled button that is situated right next to your classy paper towel holder, confirm the order on your smartphone, and in two short days the doorbell will ring as drones deliver your paper towels. VOILA! Your day is saved, the crisis has been averted, the world will continue turning.
What about my kids? Will a fleet of Bounty paper towel trucks pull up to my front door if they get ahold of my beloved Dash button? In a word: no. Amazon actually thought this out and created a safety feature for those of you with button loving children. If little Tommy or Sally happens to push the Bounty button 4,000 or so times a day, you will NOT receive 4,000 rolls of paper towels. Amazon will only deliver one order at a time, so if you pushed the button yesterday and Tommy pushed it today, they won’t place Tommy’s order until yours has been delivered. And the button is synced with the Amazon app on your phone so you’ll get an alert whenever an order has been placed that you can easily delete.
Personally, my inner button lover ADORES this product because button pushing is fun whether it’s an elevator button or my mother’s nerves. However, at this point in my life, I’m resolutely confident I will never use a Dash button. Mainly because running errands is oddly comforting to me and I rarely order things online. Others are more cynical about the product, but people believe the Dash button is the next best thing since Betty White (she’s older than sliced bread, you know). So who knows what the future will hold for the elusive Dash button?